Well look at stupid me, I say not to look here, but yet I update this place
instead of my thisisme.ca site... why? cause I'm sick, tired, and lazy and this
way is so much easier, so I guess this site will take my updates until I can
bring my wasting self to updating the main site of thisisme.ca....
What happened so far? took 2 rounds of chemo, made me so sick I finally
understand what "dying" feels like, I SO don't wanna go through that ever again,
it knocked me on my ass so bad words cant describe...
Then my tumours kept growing, I'm in the hospital right now getting radiation
treatments because 2 of em got so big, they're causing me so much pain I can
barely move... then my doctor comes in here talking like he is ready to give up,
saying stuff about how he wants another biopsy cause he isn't 100% sure that I
have multiple myeloma, and his confidence is shaken since I didn't respond to the
treatments, etc.. needless to say this really brought me down and made me feel
like hope was all but lost...
Thank god a while later another doctor came to me with a new drug still not
approved, but in study right now... its based on an anti nausea drug used in the
60s for pregnant women, so we can safely hope there wont be any nausea
problems... but everything I hear about this drug sounds good, its called
cc-5013 or by its more friendly names, lenalidomide and revlimid. Google em if
you wanna know more info, I plan to.
OK so I'm problem gonna go for it, and pray to god it works, cause so far all
I've been getting in the last 7 months is more pain, sickness, growing tumours,
and bad news, and its about time things turn around...
Wow 7 months... I cant believe its been that long since my life has been
twisted upside down and thrown into the war zone... people would tell me how
inspiring I am to be so strong, and that made me so much more proud and
positive, but that's half the reason I haven't updated my site in ages, I don't
feel positive or strong anymore, and I'm scared to show anyone, I don't want to be
weak and give in to this disease, but I can't be strong forever... to tell the
truth, its kicking my ass and I'm sorry to anyone who I made to feel positive and
I might have let down. its just kicking my ass so bad right now... I just pray I
can hold out and live through it and spend some quality time with the people
that matter... I'm outa here for now, I'll be back when I can...
